yes

Yes. I trust him. Sometimes I wait in the emotions too long instead of setting them down for the good. So yes, I will trust, not begrudgingly, but with joy and thanksgiving, which is the key to it all.

And I will be yours.
I will be yours for all my life,
So let your mercy light the path before me.

mmhmm

you bring me joi

Three cheers for Melody, the awesomest housemate EVER who is celebrating her 21st today!!!

She has been my travel buddy and my all-night essay crisis companion. She has forgiven my dirty dishes, encouraged me in Christ, and probably added three years to my life through laughter. We share a morbid fascination with all things Gaga, Bieber, and Twilight, as well as a permanent craving for Mexican food. She inspires me to run farther, write more, and laugh harder. I seriously could not have asked for a better housemate and one of the greatest blessings of Oxford has been the gain of her friendship.

I love you, babe. Thanks for being epically brilliant!!

sunday nights

We had our college Final Fling Saturday night: half ball, half party, all fun. Good times all around. Seriously wicked fun, and we lived it to the max, partying 'til the sun came up (literally). Photos to come!

So that was Saturday night. But Sunday night was a bit different. The evening was filled with sitting with Liz and Hayley in the warm Spencer House kitchen, just laptopping and chatting and being together, heavy cleansing rain falling outside, hum of the dishwasher running, chilling to Carla Bruni. I don't know if it's a character flaw, it's certainly a flaw in my social development, but I'd take Sunday over Saturday any day. There's something about the quiet peace of being utterly relaxed with people and surroundings that the bright lights of entertainment and fancy dress and loud music and glitter can't compare with.

Sigh. So I have social issues. But I am deeply grateful that I have friends (and housemates) who give freedom and embrace me even at my oddest and most awkward. And I'm so grateful for Sunday nights.

three things i love about oxford

1. The freedom: political, spiritual and ideological. Today on Turl Street I saw a table set up with posters reading "Marxism 2010: Ideas to Change the World." And a banner reading "Socialist Workers Party." Here's to boldness.

2. Bob MacIntyre. My hard disk was failing, but he replaced it and saved all of my data! AND he gave me more memory so my computer actually functions properly. Awesome.

3. My friend Dave. He's soft-spoken and gentle and always has a kind word to speak.

For all these things and more, I give thanks.

come and listen

Come and listen.
Come and listen to what he's done.

Let me tell you what he has done for me.
Let me tell you what he has done for me,
          he has done for you,
                    he has done for us.

Praise our God, for he is good.

Let me tell you what he has done for me: he has given me life abundant, rich, beautiful in its very normality, a life of loving people, reading books, singing, writing papers, drinking tea, rowing it up, telling stories, riding my bike, taking photos, watching our flowers bloom, listening to music, talking to friends, learning from smart people, eating apples, taking communion.

Not only am I studying at one of the top academic institutions in the world, but also I have gained intimate knowledge of another world besides my own, and have received the broadening of mind that comes with such knowledge. I am growing roots in a church that nurtures and challenges me and wants to help me serve God better. I have new friends here who pray with dedication, who have wicked piano skills, who want to rescue child soldiers, who can cook like crazy, who are passionate about Japan, who are going to make films that change hearts, who listen intently, who are brilliant scientists, who are persistant in love.

And as if that all weren't enough, he has done even more for me:

          When I gave more than I thought I could give financially,
          he provided me with more.

          He is in time growing me into maturity, teaching me how to
          release childish ways.

          He has given me a natural inclination for mercy and gentleness,
          but as I grow up, he is working on the many many things I lack,
          things like courage and self-control and discernment and purity,
          bringing me into all the fullness of the perfection of Christ.

And finally and greatest, he has loved me. He has laid aside his divinity to come live with me and love me. He has forgiven me everything that is wrong with me and is healing everything that is broken in me. He has given me you and you me. He has given me himself. But he has done this not just for me. He has done this for you. He has done this for us.

For all these things and more I praise the one who has loved us.

"Give thanks to the Lord, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done. Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell of all his wonderful acts. Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice. Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always. Remember the wonders he has done, his miracles, and the judgments he pronounced... Sing to the Lord, all the earth; proclaim his salvation day after day. Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous deeds among all peoples... Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever." 1 Chronicles 16:1-12, 23-24, 34

top ten of the last two weeks

Life is magic. It's a beautiful, wonderful, marvelous, mysterious thing. It's definitely a rough game, and sometimes it freaks me out that it's real. I mean, it seems like a story that I'm reading from the outside and I pity the characters because there's so much uncertainty and they don't have a clue about the true meaning. But then I realize that I can't withdraw out of this terrifyingly uncertain fictional world because... well... it's not fiction. Because I'm stuck inside the story. I'm as limited as the characters I thought I could pity.

So anyway, life freaks me out and makes me feel like my brain is going to explode. But there are some really neat parts, too! Here are my top ten favorite things in the last two weeks:

10. Just being with people. Since I only had one essay to research and write this week, instead of the normal two, I was able to spend more time living life with people and just hanging out, which is precious. I had tea and a beautifully real talk with Alison, my small group leader. I hung out in the chapel for an hour after CU meeting and listened to Chris play the piano and Julia sing all these worship songs that I've never heard before because they're just not as common in the States. I sat in the Spencer House kitchen after a Sunday dinner of Thanksgiving leftovers and just enjoyed the warmth and the idle chatting and the comfortable people. I watched a movie with friends in the JCR, holding a book because it makes me feel better to pretend to do homework even when I'm not really. I had tea with Karen. I had tea with Eric. I had tea with my dear Focus girls. (Yes, me likey tea mucho.)

9. My tutor liked my economics paper. For the first time. Too bad it was my last one. Victory in Jesus! :)

8. I bought plane tickets for the Czech Republic! Luke's coming up to Britain tomorrow and then on the 9th, I'm flying back with him to the Czech Republic. I've wanted to go to Prague for so long; I'm really uber-excited. It's gonna be great.

7. Crumpets. They are divine. Similar to an English muffin, but with a slightly pancakier texture. Toasted. Thank you Rosie for changing my life.

6. Cuppers. This is the Oxford drama competition where all of the plays are directed and performed by freshers. Our very own Marchella Ward not only directed one for Regent's, but also WROTE it. And it was GOOD. Clever, swift, funny, and excellently acted. They really surprised me with how fantastic it was. I loved it! And I think half the student and faculty body of Regent's crammed into the tiny Burton Taylor studio (which I seriously think seats MAYBE forty people) to enjoy it. I love the school spirit, and they were well-rewarded for their time.

5. We took communion at chapel this week and it was beautiful. Everyone who was there gathered around the table and passed the bread and wine to one another. We all tore a piece off the same loaf of bread and took a sip from the same glass of wine, giving grace to one another as we ourselves had received it. I had to fight to keep from laughing with sheer delight as I said "the peace of Christ be with you" to someone because it was so glorious.

4. Turned in my last essay this morning at seven am. Bam. Beat that.

3. Lebanese food. I love experiencing pieces of new cultures. Eric and I were going to go to this Indian place for dinner Saturday night, but when we got there, we decided it was a little too posh for us. There was a Lebanese restaurant across the street, and neither of us had ever tried that before, so, hey, why not? It was good food and sweet fun, but the best part was that part of the menu was in Arabic and I knew three or four of the words. YES. I wish Anna could have been there. Or Rima. They would have been so proud.

2. Annie and Melody & I went to the Ashmolean on Saturday afternoon and it was super sweet. Mostly art and artifacts, but it's a world-class museum and they had some incredible stuff. We were only there for a few hours and I need to go back before I can pick some favorite things.

1. THANKSGIVING. Was amazing. So good. All of us American students at Regent's, plus a few extra friends, brought scads of traditional Thanksgiving food up to Spencer House and enjoyed it together. We ate crazy amounts of food, enjoyed being with one another and just talking and hanging out, and watched a movie. Which was perfect, because really, chilling on a couch with a bunch of friends watching a movie is one of the best ways (maybe one of the only ways) to let your body recover from eating enough food for three days.

"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever." 1 Chronicles 16:34