chapter four, in which megan explains why she is not moving back to kansas city yet

This is real.

I have a new job. And it's my dream job - I think? I think I'm too young to have my dream job.

Maybe, probably, I will have new dreams in two or five or ten years, and that's fine, but for now, it is, in fact, my dream job.

I'm so thankful. And at the same time, my thankfulness over the last few months has been laced with discontentment. I keep asking God if I can move back to Kansas City. I want to pick up my little sister for lunch dates and be a respite caregiver for the Peery House and play on the playground with UCA's inaugural kindergarten class and go to my dad's shows and plan a Camp CUMCITO Teen Girls retreat and let my friend Kyla chauffeur me around with her shiny new driver's license and become friends with the man who's dating my best friend. There are so many good things going on there that I would love to be a part of, and so many people who I want to live daily life with.

And I feel like God doesn't get it, because I keep hearing "Not yet." I forget my dream job and the dearly loved family I nanny for and the healthiest church that I've ever been a part of and the community that has truly become my West Seattle family and the sunset over the mountains over the ocean and I start daydreaming and wishing and whining to God, and then I get angry, because he's not letting me live every good story that I want to live all at the same time.

He's been so patient with me. He has not yet raised his voice with me. But he has said in loving firmness, "Do you really think that your story is better than mine? Do you really think that it is all about you getting everything you want (which is too much for you to cram into your mouth anyway)? Infinitely greater and more beautiful things are at stake."

This morning I was reading an excerpt from the writings of Saint John of the Cross, and the editor of the book advised an assignment: "Be patient with God this week. John of the Cross consistently counsels us not to fuss or fret and take our spiritual lives into our own hands, but simply to receive what God would have us receive, no more, no less. Learn the discipline of gratitude for the small things." The Holy Spirit whispered to me, "Even though you think you're missing out on so many things in Kansas City, stop fussing and fretting. Trust your God's guidance. Trust that he knows what he's doing. He has opened doors for you here and now that you should not walk away from because you are greedy or discontent, but should keep walking through because they are good and because you are his. You are not your own. You have been bought with a price. It is not about your desires, but about his glory. He is writing a better story. And in the end, you will not regret following him instead of following your own wisdom."

I don't know how to communicate that to all of the people who I feel like I'm disappointing by my decision to stay here, but maybe they'll read this post.

There are deeply wounded and out-of-place men and women here who I get to intentionally and practically love full-time through smiles and individually tailored English worksheets and caring about them as human beings and being excited that they're here and crying out in prayer over the waves of difficulty that threaten to crash down over them. There is a thirteen year old boy who is asking big questions about who Jesus is and listening to my answers. There is a church who is pouring itself out to make God look as good as he is in the avenues and alleyways of Seattle. These are the doors that I'm going to follow God through. God, help me not just walk, but run.

come visit

World Relief Seattle has a blog, and it's amazing. All of the staff contribute stories, and sometimes our refugee clients contribute stories too. If you're interested in meeting some of my amazing students and their families, and getting to know the work that I have the privilege of being a part of better, but you don't have the money for a plane ticket up here, come visit by taking a minute to scroll through our blog and check out some of our stories (although if you DO have the money for a plane ticket, COME!).
Click here: http://worldreliefseattle.wordpress.com/

the sisters do seattle part 2

Hiking in the rainforest yesterday:

Not everyone has such pretty hiking companions.

the sisters do seattle part 1

Shakespeare in the Park with Sister Sarah - she's here visiting for a week!

serve the city '13

My church family and I desire to see gospel renewal take place from the avenues to the alleyways of the city that we love. And so on July 20th over 100 people from DCC partnered with Dunlap Elementary School in the Rainier Valley neighborhood of Seattle to help with some much-needed maintenance. We got to trim bushes, paint curbs, pull brambles, and clean up trash, and my friend Peter made this video to show some highlights of the day (bonus: Tyler composed the music and Chelsey contributed the vocals - talented folks!):

i'm lucky

The new staff community I'm working with at Seattle Urban Academy:

I guess they're alright.

the first birthday

The year in pictures!
Check out the ways that God has been faithful to Downtown Cornerstone in 2011! Maybe I'll springboard off this and collect a few photos from the past year showing what God has done this year for me. Check back later. (But no promises.)

neighborhood house

Spent yesterday evening at the Neighborhood House here in my new neighborhood of High Point. It's only two blocks from my house and I walk past it every day on my way to the bus, so I couldn't resist connecting there. Got plugged in with their youth program, and yesterday was my second evening tutoring kids after school. It's a really good place to be. The kids are largely from immigrant families, which means they instantly had my heart. The program director is a woman worthy of respect; the atmosphere she creates in the program is peaceful, relaxed, hard-working, caring, but caring enough to call kids out and gently redirect them when they're distracted. The program is well structured. Both kids and volunteers know the expectations, and they are thoughtful and reasonable. The ratios are manageable: one to two kids per volunteer tutor. It's encouraging to be involved in a solid program.

Last night I listened in amazement as a sweet, soft-spoken, sixth-grade girl read me the tragic adventure story she was writing about two kids who get stuck in a pyramid during a gruesome mummification process and end up dying of dehydration and despair. Then I helped a fourth-grader with long division and a fifth-grader with graphing coordinates, and ended the evening trouncing them both (I know, it's hardly fair when your opponents are ten years old) in Chinese Checkers. The cherry on the top of the sundae was walking two blocks home. The Lord is beginning to open my heart to this neighborhood and to the opportunities waiting for me to live well here.

summer sunshine and new life

Picnic? Frisbee? Friends? Sunshine? Beach? Baptisms?
Yes please.

The first DCC baptisms were held the first weekend of August down on the beach at the sculpture park.

My pastor, Adam.

The church watching from the beach.

My dear friend Sarah.

The next ones are coming up this month. Not on the beach of course. (: It's so exciting to see the transformations God is undertaking in the lives of my brothers and sisters in our community.

the first half

My first half marathon was August 6th. It started at the Tacoma Narrows Airport and ended in downtown Tacoma. The most important lesson I learned from it was that the running wasn't the hard part. Mile 12 felt just like mile 4. The hard part was keeping myself entertained for two hours. I got so bored around mile 6. Since then I've started listening to sermons from Redeemer when I go for my long training runs, and I may start loading movies onto my ipod to listen to while I run even longer distances; something with a overarching plot/thought structure keeps me more interested than a long series of songs.

I'm registered for my first marathon in February and my second in June, but my recent surgery may wreak havoc with those dreams. I'm under strict instructions from the doctor not to drive or exercise for six months. Lame. I'm going to argue for the June one at least when I go back for my next checkup in January.

Before the half:

There were a lot of cool little planes sitting around everywhere:

People getting their heads in the game pre-race in the hanger:

I'm gonna fly one of these someday! Not even joking.

intro to seattle city

These are from June, the first month I lived in Seattle city.

the view east from the waterfront

the view west from the waterfront

the piers on Puget Sound

it may rain a lot, but it is still beautiful. the colors are so vibrant.

scenes from pike place

the Seattle Public Library

so sleek and modern

Mariners' game

oh the Seattle stereotype

i have a job

So to catch up those of you who don't know, I have a new job.

The organization that I was interning for, World Relief, offered me an AmeriCorps position at the end of my internship, and I accepted. I am now an ESL teacher for our refugees.

I have 35 students in a room that holds 20 comfortably. I have a full range of levels, from students who don't know how to hold a pencil because they're illiterate in their own language, to students who worked as English interpreters in their home countries and are fully fluent. My students come from every background imaginable, Western urbanites to nomadic camel herdsmen. I teach two hours a day, four days a week, but for every hour in class I spend five outside of class planning these multi-level lessons and designing materials tailored to my students' needs. New students show up in class every week, and stay anywhere from two months to a year, depending on how long it takes them to find a job. It's a crazy job. And I love it.

I feel like the luckiest person in the world that I get to have this job. I love my courageous, humorous, vulnerable students. I love the insanely cool staff I work with. I love the heart of the organization I get to work for. I love the journey of learning the art of teaching well.

I'm excited for you to come with me on this journey.
Maybe it will even make you want to find ways to befriend the lonely in your community.

downtown cornerstone

This is the church that is my home in Seattle.

The Vision - Downtown Cornerstone Church from Downtown Cornerstone Church on Vimeo.

all the other kids with the pumped-up kicks, you'd better run, better run...

Heyheyhey ya'll.

So I ran my first 10K today. Heck yes.

I ran for an organization called 4US that raises money to buy ultrasound machines for crisis pregnancy centers. In the last 6 years, they have raised enough money to buy 15 machines, which cost about $31,000 each, typically last for about 10 years, and have great results: 96% of women who see their babies for the first time on a 4US machine choose to bring those children into the world, meaning that 2000+ choices for life are made as the result of each 4US machine. This is an issue that is obviously controversial, and that I have wrestled with a lot, but that is super close to my heart. The organization is pretty cool, and seems to be pretty creative and effective with the way that it engages with society; check it out at http://www.4us.org/.

Also, these people know how to have a party. This event was big and fun and included a free pancake breakfast, coffee and orange juice (which happens to be my very most favorite food), and multiple bounce houses!




And just when you thought it couldn't get any better, there was a bluegrass band too. Oh man. The event was well organized in a beautiful park with kind volunteers everywhere and lots of families having a ball. There were 5 and 10K runs and walks, bike rides, little kid races, and tons of activities. Basically, except for the fact that my friends and family weren't standing along the course to cheer me on, it was everything that a run should be.

I finished 31 out of 83 total, 5th out of 11 females in the 20-29 age range, which is a solid and shameless performance (haha, I would not have told you my results if they were bad), and even knocked it out under my goal time of an hour, finishing in 59 minutes and 33 seconds. After the race I ate some more awesome free food and sprawled out on the grass in 75 degrees of sunshine to talk to some people I love on the phone for a couple hours. It's good to acknowledge good days.

Next weekend: the Tacoma Narrows Half Marathon. No joke. It's gonna be an adventure...

why am i here?

I am doing this internship because...

I have committed my life to God's passions.
God cares fiercely about the vulnerable and broken.
I want to proclaim the gospel by loving people in the darkest and scariest places of life.
Refugees exist, by their identity, in one of the darkest and scariest places of a broken, sinful world.
I love working with people, am fascinated by languages, and have an instinctive desire to understand international dynamics.

All of these things add up to make me think that maybe one of the places where God can use me really well for the service of his kingdom is in the field of refugee work. This internship is a first tentative step of faith. It is being faithful to what little vision God has given me. I pray often that if he can use me better elsewhere, that he would make that very clear to me. My heart has very strong, conflicting emotions about being here and doing this, especially because it means that I can't be present and invested in Kansas City, but I am relying on the steady, faithful wisdom of God to guide me.

If you take the time to pray for me, I would ask that you would pray this from the first chapter of Colossians: "We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light."

Thanks for reading, ya'll.

"Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms." 1 Peter 4:10

little eugene is very sick

My poor little computer (affectionately known as Eugene, in honor of the endearingly awkward ginger from Adventures in Odyssey... anyone? anyone?) is sick and has to go to the computer hospital where he will be treated by friendly nurses from the Geek Squad.

Until his illness is diagnosed, I will have only library internet. The blog posts will likely be short and sweet, but I do intend to keep them coming, so check back soon.

Heartfelt get-well cards for Eugene can be addressed in care of me, and I'll see that he gets them. Balloons and boxes of chocolates are also welcome.

another new city

Hi all! I'm in Seattle!!

I moved here last week to do an internship with an organization called World Relief: http://worldrelief.org/ They are an international humanitarian organization that does sweet work in a bunch of countries around the world, primarily through the local church. The organization also has offices in the U.S., and these offices focus on refugee resettlement, which is what I'll be learning the ins and outs of this summer.

Our refugees come from all over the world, but we have high concentrations from Burma, Bhutan, Iraq, Somalia, and Eritrea. They have all been persecuted, most to the point that their lives were in danger, for their ethnicity, religion, class, political position, or other aspect of their identity. They have all fled to another country, many congregating in refugee camps within which they often become prisoners. Very few ever succeed in being accepted for resettlement in the U.S. or another third country, less than one half of one percent, and that is after an average stay in a refugee camp of eighteen years.

When refugees are accepted by a government like the United States to come resettle within that country, they are connected with one of a few accepted agencies such as World Relief. WR and other resettlement agencies welcome the refugees when they arrive at the airport, set up host homes for their initial arrival, arrange apartments or houses for them and assist them with rent, orient them to the culture and the country, help them shop for groceries, help them learn public transit systems, teach them English, enroll their children in school, take them to the doctor and dentist, help them find employment, help them apply for social security cards, state IDs, medical insurance, benefits, etc., and try to welcome and connect them to their new community. The government only assists refugees for the first 1-3 months after their arrival, and agencies are typically able to offer services for 3-6 months, though we try to connect the families to volunteers who are willing to befriend them and followup with them for the long haul.

It's rough. These people don't necessarily dream of moving to the United States, but they are forced out of their homes by oppression, violence, and persecution. Many come here with no connections. Many leave family behind, even children or spouses. Many were farmers and have no transferable job skills. Many grew up in refugee camps and know no other life. Many know no English. Some have never even learned to read and write in their own language. Many have severe psychological trauma from the violence they have endured.

In light of all that, it's exciting and hope-giving to step into an organization like World Relief that cares about these vulnerable people deeply and strives to serve them with excellence.

So why am I doing this internship? That's another blog post entirely, but I'll try to make it soon. Until then, if you want to keep in touch, send a care package, write a postcard, look me up on Google Earth, etc., my contact info is:

1208 E. Smith St., Apt. 3
Kent, WA 98030

meganallynkennedy@gmail.com

skypename: megan_allyn

I love you guys.

Peace.



"When an alien lives with you in your land, do not mistreat him. The alien living with you must be treated as one of your native-born. Love him as yourself, for you were aliens in Egypt. I am the Lord your God." Leviticus 19:33-34