whatcha say

I have so many things to say, so many thoughts, but I can't find the words for them. I've sat down in front of my computer multiple times and tried to fit my recent passions and sorrows and fears and meditations and epiphanies into twenty-six letters, and I'm not creative enough to be successful. Hence the blog silence.

Some thoughts: I miss my home in Oxford. I love my home in Kansas. My love for my home at camp is being clarified and illuminated.

Even now, reading back that attempt at communication, I want to delete it because it's not very articulate.

Dr. Alpern says that if you can't express something with the correct, accurate words, it is unlikely that you really know it. Maybe. Maybe he's just being his difficult self.

articulate
-adjective: expressed, formulated, or presented with clarity and effectiveness

break my bones

Tuesday afternon after I got off work I took a sandwich and some coffee down to David, a Big Issue seller in Oxford who I see a couple times a week. We were standing there talking and despite the warm sunny weather, he seemed so discouraged. When I asked, he told me he was just tired of the abuse. He always speaks to me, and I have observed to others, with the utmost politeness and kindness, asking them if they would like to buy a magazine with a quiet, gentle manner. But he told me that while some people respond politely, there are many others who will yell at him, tell him to "f*** off," or otherwise verbally abuse him. Sometimes he leaves his corner early because he's just weary of it.

I can't believe people would do that. What kind of brokenness inside of someone causes them to treat a struggling human being that way? Who do I hurt with my words? Carelessly spoken, shot off, unintentional, or measured, we all instinctively know the power of speech, and I have used mine to wound, stab, and isolate.

That night I watched Memoirs of a Geisha. The entire film is aching and sad, but ironically, the part where I started crying is when the little girl who has been taken from her family, abused and isolated, and then abandoned by her sister in a thwarted running-away attempt is standing on a bridge in the middle of town and a powerful businessman notices her, stops, speaks kindness into her life, cheers her up, and buys her some flavored ice. From that moment onward the girl's entire life purpose becomes to become a geisha, because then she will have a chance at a place in that businessman's world.

His words spoke kindness into her, revolutionized her life, gave her a purpose to live. I started crying because it frightened me. We have so much power.

My friend Lissha once told our teen girls at camp, "You have the power to speak life into people." I have never forgotten that phrase. That is a terrifying power, because it infers that we also have the power to do exactly the opposite. And we have this power not over objects of small importance, but over people. People who have been dearly bought, highly esteemed, redeemed in the suffering of God himself. We speak thousands of words every day. Each one is a choice.

Forgive me, Lord! For I am a woman of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty!

" They make their tongues as sharp as a serpent's; the poison of vipers is on their lips. Selah" Psalm 140:3

"Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." Proverbs 12:18

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal." 1 Corinthians 13:1

"With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?" James 3:9-11

oh the things you will see

Really, England?


"Who is this coming up from the desert like a column of smoke, perfumed with myrrh and incense made from all the spices of the merchant? Look! It is Solomon's carriage, escorted by sixty warriors, the noblest of Israel..." Song of Solomon 3:6-7

the british language part three

nick=steal
whinge=whine
thick=stupid
living out=living off campus
Uni=University
tut=tutorial
in college=on campus
sorted=worked out/organized/settled
reading=majoring in
marks=grades
ring=call
jumper=general category encompassing sweatshirts, hoodies, sweaters, jackets, etc.
literally=we might use seriously. they really don't mean literally at all.
cycle=bike
chuffed=pleased
trackie bums=sweatpants
footie=football
lad="a man who is boisterously macho in his behavior or actions, especially one who is interested in sexual conquest"
laddish=acts like a lad
clever=smart
stroppy=pouty, having a bad attitude
mash=mashed potatoes
mess you around=mess with you
nail varnish=nail polish

"The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge. There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard. Their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world." Psalm 19:1-4a

the british language part two

mates=friends
holiday=vacation
note=bill
diary=planner/schedule
battels=room & board
half two=two thirty (etc.)
pudding=dessert
primary school=elementary school
secondary school=high school
fit=hot
are you all right?=how are you?
cross=angry
creche=nursery
washing up=cleaning up, doing the dishes
spot=bit
fancy=like
sweets=candy
wasp=bee
go off=expire
shattered=exhausted
dodge=sketch
chunder=puke
GP=doctor
ginger=redhead

" Now the whole world had one language and a common speech. As men moved eastward, they found a plain in Shinar and settled there. They said to each other, "Come, let's make bricks and bake them thoroughly." They used brick instead of stone, and tar for mortar. Then they said, "Come, let us build ourselves a city, with a tower that reaches to the heavens, so that we may make a name for ourselves and not be scattered over the face of the whole earth." But the Lord came down to see the city and the tower that the men were building. The Lord said, "If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them. Come, let us go down and confuse their language so they will not understand each other." So the Lord scattered them from there over all the earth, and they stopped building the city. That is why it was called Babel— because there the Lord confused the language of the whole world. From there the Lord scattered them over the face of the whole earth." Genesis 11:1-9

off balance

I am incompetent at interacting with people today. I don't know when to say something and when to shut up. And when I do talk, or write, or email, I say weird things. And even when I say something true, I can't say it right.
Ulgh. I am a freak.

pretension

I just used the word "multitudinous" in an essay.
Bam.

"Do not keep talking so proudly or let your mouth speak such arrogance..." 1 Samuel 2:3a

the british language part one

lorry = truck
chemist = pharmacist
post = mail
scone = biscuit
biscuit = cookie
cookie = subtype of "biscuit"
table football = foosball
football = soccer
crisps = chips
chips = fries
jacket potato = baked potato
cardi/cardigan = sweater
quid = pound (monetary)
brilliant = great
hole-in-the-wall = atm
doing = studying/majoring in
at = in
toilet = restroom
queries/enquiries = questions
mobile = cell
trousers = pants
posh = fancy/high-falutin'
corridor = hallway
leaflets = pamphlets
surgery = clinic
study bedroom = dorm room
fresher = freshman
cheers = this one is complicated. There is no American equivalent. I finally asked some of the girls about it last night because I didn't know when the heck it was appropriate to say and when not. They said that it's kind of an informal thank you, and can also serve as a joint thank-you and goodbye. Appropriate situations: when someone holds the door for you, when you are the man at the ice cream counter handing someone their ice cream. Inappropriate situations: when a waiter brings you food, when speaking to the Chancellor of the University. Are we all quite clear?

"In my vision at night I looked, and there before me was one like a son of man, coming with the clouds of heaven. He approached the Ancient of Days and was led into his presence. He was given authority, glory and sovereign power; all peoples, nations and men of every language worshiped him. His dominion is an everlasting dominion that will not pass away, and his kingdom is one that will never be destroyed." Daniel 7:13-14