the sisters do searcy

Climbed to the top of Sugar Loaf for sunrise on my birthday

depression

My pal Karen wrote an excellent post on depression: http://tedenrice.wordpress.com/2013/11/16/its-real-guys-so-lets-talk-about-it/
Read & learn & be encouraged. Her life is a beautiful and brave and encouraging thing.

how much happier

How much happier you would be, how much more of you there would be, if the hammer of a higher God could smash your small cosmos, scattering the stars like spangles, and leave you in the open, free like other men to look up as well as down!
-G.K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy

i'm lucky

The new staff community I'm working with at Seattle Urban Academy:

I guess they're alright.

those other olympics

My lovely friend Leah posted this photostory of our recent camping trip to the Pacific coast and the Hoh Rainforest: http://www.ldankertson.com/roughhewn/?p=4260
Enjoy! And if you have a few extra minutes, take some time to look around her blog; the photos that come out of her camera and the thoughts that come out of her heart are just beautiful.

how to save a life

My mom linked me to this article recently, and I was surprised and impressed by it. It is noteworthy for its gentle, but unflinchingly honest, portrayal of the messiness of humans, even those who we idealize. I am the first to instinctively put survivors of oppression on a pedestal: noble, strong, exalted beacons of what humanity should be in the face of despicable evil. But the truth of who humans are is far more complicated.

This article tells the story of a fiery young Afghan woman who fled to the U.S. after suffering mutilation at the hands of her husband and in-laws. Her face was chosen to grace the cover of Time magazine, and she became an icon of oppressed Afghan women. But this story focuses not so much on Aesha, but on the caseworkers, counselors, and teachers who have poured their hearts into helping the young woman, and reveals that caring for a real person like Aesha is far more difficult, frustrating, messy, draining, and unglorious than we would like to think. I commend it to you.

http://www.cnn.com/interactive/2012/05/world/saving.aesha/?hpt=hp_c2

poetry

It's rare that I truly appreciate a piece of poetry. It could be because I'm really picky, but I think it's more that I'm not well-enough trained in most poetic genres to be able to identify and appreciate excellence in them. Maybe someday I'll take a poetry class. I think there's a lot out there to appreciate that I'm oblivious to.

(sidenote: I feel quite vehemently that it's okay to end a sentence with a preposition. The rule saying otherwise is dumb.)

I read this poem today, and on first and second readings felt a glimmer of appreciation for it. I'm submitting it to you for your consideration. I need to let it simmer on the back-burner of my brain for a few weeks before I decide whether I really like it or not. Tomorrow I'll offer you my favorite poem I've ever read, which has thus far stood the test of time for three years and shows no signs of giving up its throne for the foreseeable future.

But here's the one from today (the second-to-last line is what really won my heart):


Starlings in Winter
by Mary Oliver

Chunky and noisy,
but with stars in their black feathers,
they spring from the telephone wire
and instantly

they are acrobats
in the freezing wind.
And now, in the theater of air,
they swing over buildings,

dipping and rising;
they float like one stippled star
that opens,
becomes for a moment fragmented,

then closes again;
and you watch
and you try
but you simply can't imagine

how they do it
with no articulated instruction, no pause,
only the silent confirmation
that they are this notable thing,

this wheel of many parts, that can rise and spin
over and over again,
full of gorgeous life.
Ah, world, what lessons you prepare for us,

even in the leafless winter,
even in the ashy city.
I am thinking now
of grief, and of getting past it;

I feel my boots
trying to leave the ground,
I feel my heart
pumping hard, I want

to think again of dangerous and noble things.
I want to be light and frolicsome.
I want to be improbable beautiful and afraid of nothing,
as though I had wings.

i am full

The group of women who disciple me every week say a lot of wise things. I'm so glad that they tell me the thoughts that they think so that I can think them too.

We've been reading through the book of Revelations and a few weeks ago Tiffany said something profoundly simple that made my heart tremble. First she read these words out loud:

Revelation 1:16 "In his [Jesus'] right hand he held seven stars, and out of his mouth came a sharp double-edged sword. His face was like the sun shining in all its brilliance."
Revelation 22:3b-5a "The throne of God and of the Lamb will be in the city, and his servants will serve him. They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light."

Then she said this: if Jesus' face is brighter than the sun, his love must be more than enough to fill me. When Satan whispers that there are empty spaces in my heart that people need to fill, he is lying. I am full.

This screams like a megaphone into my life. I adore people so dearly that I often assume they are the ones to fill my heart. But that burden will suffocate our friendship. Our relationship is most alive, most free and vibrant and right when I receive my sustenance and value from the radiance of God's love, just as a tiny sprouting plant flourishes in the life-giving rays of the sun.

In Searching for God Knows What, Don Miller said:
“I think Jesus is saying, Look, you guys are running around like monkeys trying to get people to clap, but people are fallen, they are separated from God, so they have no idea what is good or bad, worthy to be judged or set free, beautiful or ugly to begin with...
Imagine how a man’s life would be if he trusted that he was loved by God. How he could interact with the poor and not show partiality, he could love his wife easily and not expect her to redeem him, he would be slow to anger because redemption was no longer at stake, he could be wise and giving with his money because money no longer represented points, he could give up on formulaic religion, knowing that checking stuff off a spiritual to-do list was a worthless pursuit, he would have confidence and the ability to laugh at himself, and he could love people without expecting anything in return. It would be quite beautiful, really...
Earthly love… is temporal and slight so that is has to be given again and again in order for us to feel any sense of security; but God’s love, God’s voice and presence, would instill our souls with such affirmation we would need nothing more and would cause us to love other people so much we would be willing to die for them.”

The inner struggle to rest my heart in this truth is reflected in this insight from Lewis (does it always come back to him?):
"The real problem of the Christian life comes where people do not usually look for it. It comes the very moment you wake up each morning. All your wishes and hopes [and lies] for the day rush at you like wild animals. And the first job each morning consists simply in shoving them all back, in listening to that other voice, taking that other point of view, letting that other larger, stronger, quieter life come flowing in. And so on, all day. Standing back from all your natural fussings and frettings; coming in out of the wind. We can only do it for moments at first. But from those moments the new sort of life will be spreading through our system: because now we are letting Him work at the right part of us. It is the difference between paint which is merely laid on the surface, and a dye or stain which soaks right through."

I long for God's love to soak through my heart like a dye, utterly permeating and transforming it. For now I only see faint tinges of color, the first traces of sunrise.

the first birthday

The year in pictures!
Check out the ways that God has been faithful to Downtown Cornerstone in 2011! Maybe I'll springboard off this and collect a few photos from the past year showing what God has done this year for me. Check back later. (But no promises.)

neighborhood house

Spent yesterday evening at the Neighborhood House here in my new neighborhood of High Point. It's only two blocks from my house and I walk past it every day on my way to the bus, so I couldn't resist connecting there. Got plugged in with their youth program, and yesterday was my second evening tutoring kids after school. It's a really good place to be. The kids are largely from immigrant families, which means they instantly had my heart. The program director is a woman worthy of respect; the atmosphere she creates in the program is peaceful, relaxed, hard-working, caring, but caring enough to call kids out and gently redirect them when they're distracted. The program is well structured. Both kids and volunteers know the expectations, and they are thoughtful and reasonable. The ratios are manageable: one to two kids per volunteer tutor. It's encouraging to be involved in a solid program.

Last night I listened in amazement as a sweet, soft-spoken, sixth-grade girl read me the tragic adventure story she was writing about two kids who get stuck in a pyramid during a gruesome mummification process and end up dying of dehydration and despair. Then I helped a fourth-grader with long division and a fifth-grader with graphing coordinates, and ended the evening trouncing them both (I know, it's hardly fair when your opponents are ten years old) in Chinese Checkers. The cherry on the top of the sundae was walking two blocks home. The Lord is beginning to open my heart to this neighborhood and to the opportunities waiting for me to live well here.

intro to seattle city

These are from June, the first month I lived in Seattle city.

the view east from the waterfront

the view west from the waterfront

the piers on Puget Sound

it may rain a lot, but it is still beautiful. the colors are so vibrant.

scenes from pike place

the Seattle Public Library

so sleek and modern

Mariners' game

oh the Seattle stereotype

appreciative

Wow. Wow, wow, wow.

My friends are not only hot, but also talented. (: I just found Jess's photo blog, and the way she freezes the beauty happening all around her is incredible.

Check out the photo blog here: http://jessicagliserman.tumblr.com

i have a job

So to catch up those of you who don't know, I have a new job.

The organization that I was interning for, World Relief, offered me an AmeriCorps position at the end of my internship, and I accepted. I am now an ESL teacher for our refugees.

I have 35 students in a room that holds 20 comfortably. I have a full range of levels, from students who don't know how to hold a pencil because they're illiterate in their own language, to students who worked as English interpreters in their home countries and are fully fluent. My students come from every background imaginable, Western urbanites to nomadic camel herdsmen. I teach two hours a day, four days a week, but for every hour in class I spend five outside of class planning these multi-level lessons and designing materials tailored to my students' needs. New students show up in class every week, and stay anywhere from two months to a year, depending on how long it takes them to find a job. It's a crazy job. And I love it.

I feel like the luckiest person in the world that I get to have this job. I love my courageous, humorous, vulnerable students. I love the insanely cool staff I work with. I love the heart of the organization I get to work for. I love the journey of learning the art of teaching well.

I'm excited for you to come with me on this journey.
Maybe it will even make you want to find ways to befriend the lonely in your community.

oh yeah she's pretty

I got to meet my niece Lucy for the first time on Friday, eight days old.


She's a winner.


This is one of her older brothers, Luke, and her older sister, Clara, with my mom.


Having them as nieces and nephews makes me the very luckiest.

a new buddy

I have a new niece.
Her name is Lucy Bea.
How much more precious does it get?

Best part: I get to meet the beautiful little buddy on Friday. Can't wait! Photos to come. This is better than Christmas...

downtown cornerstone

This is the church that is my home in Seattle.

The Vision - Downtown Cornerstone Church from Downtown Cornerstone Church on Vimeo.

all the other kids with the pumped-up kicks, you'd better run, better run...

Heyheyhey ya'll.

So I ran my first 10K today. Heck yes.

I ran for an organization called 4US that raises money to buy ultrasound machines for crisis pregnancy centers. In the last 6 years, they have raised enough money to buy 15 machines, which cost about $31,000 each, typically last for about 10 years, and have great results: 96% of women who see their babies for the first time on a 4US machine choose to bring those children into the world, meaning that 2000+ choices for life are made as the result of each 4US machine. This is an issue that is obviously controversial, and that I have wrestled with a lot, but that is super close to my heart. The organization is pretty cool, and seems to be pretty creative and effective with the way that it engages with society; check it out at http://www.4us.org/.

Also, these people know how to have a party. This event was big and fun and included a free pancake breakfast, coffee and orange juice (which happens to be my very most favorite food), and multiple bounce houses!




And just when you thought it couldn't get any better, there was a bluegrass band too. Oh man. The event was well organized in a beautiful park with kind volunteers everywhere and lots of families having a ball. There were 5 and 10K runs and walks, bike rides, little kid races, and tons of activities. Basically, except for the fact that my friends and family weren't standing along the course to cheer me on, it was everything that a run should be.

I finished 31 out of 83 total, 5th out of 11 females in the 20-29 age range, which is a solid and shameless performance (haha, I would not have told you my results if they were bad), and even knocked it out under my goal time of an hour, finishing in 59 minutes and 33 seconds. After the race I ate some more awesome free food and sprawled out on the grass in 75 degrees of sunshine to talk to some people I love on the phone for a couple hours. It's good to acknowledge good days.

Next weekend: the Tacoma Narrows Half Marathon. No joke. It's gonna be an adventure...

new characters in my story

I just looked through my pictures, and these are the only exciting ones from the last few weeks:

two cool (maybe...) girls I've been lucky enough to get to know a bit lately, Toni & Ty



I almost put up a picture of this really cool shiny green and orange bug I found on one of my plants, but then I was afraid you'd think that Ty and Toni are on the same level as the bug in terms of how much interest they add to my life, which is not at all true. So just know that the bug was insane.

I've started working at an elementary school doing the before and after school program. I have twenty first-graders to plan activities for every day, and while their favorite things include tattletaling, crying, silly-bands, screaming, tugging on my shirt, and throwing their snack wrappers across the table at each other when they think I'm not looking, they also love giving hugs, holding my hand, and playing four-square, and so I think they're awesome. My favorite moment recently came from one of my girls who grabbed my hand during snack time, when they're all supposed to be sitting down, and asked if she could go get something out of her backpack. I said "What?" She said "Something." I said "What?" She, growing more impatient, said "Something!" I said "What?" She clenched her fists in frustration, and then, with her face grave and her eyes wide, tried to make me understand the urgency of the matter: "This is a serious silly-band situation!"

We had our first meeting last night for my new small group at my church, Redeemer Fellowship. Meeting people for the first time can be awfully fun to me because you get to create your first impression according to your whimsy. I wore Meredith's trendy bracelet to help me feel hip. (: It was beautiful. Our leaders are authentically warm and welcoming. There's a great mix of four married couples, four singles, and four freaking cute kids. I met people who share some of my passions. The atmosphere was free and embracing. I can't wait to get to know this group of people more closely.

Fall retreat is this weekend for camp, so I'll have some sweet photos after that.

In closing, what do you think of this?
"Christ died for men precisely because men are not worth dying for;
to make them worth it."

sultry summer, shooting stars, sinking sand

I haven't blogged in a long time. I've probably lost all my faithful readers. There's just not a lot exciting going on in my life right now.

That's not exactly true. I've spent some beautiful (if oppressively hot) days at camp. I've been calling all my freshmen mentees and getting to know them. I've been making homemade ice cream and watching meteor showers with my little sisters. All of which has been great.

Other breaking news:
- It's hot as Hades here in Kansas. I ate ice cream for lunch today.
- I ordered all of my textbooks for this fall and only spent $68.54. Oh, the benefits of being a political science major.
- I saw thirty-five shooting stars last night. They were magnificent. Number 24 was the most incredible one I've ever seen: the fire trail in the atmosphere stayed glowing for a good fifteen seconds.
- I get to move back in with my beautiful roommate in five days.

There are a few things coming up that I'm super excited about, and a few things that I'm terrified about, but I've been reminded in recent days that "My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness." That is where I'm standing. It's the only place I can stand; everything else is pretty shaky right now: relationships, plans, achievements. Yet Christ has proven himself faithful and I cling to that once again.

My hope is built on nothing less
than Jesus' blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
but wholly lean on Jesus' name.

When darkness veils his lovely face,
I rest on his unchanging grace;
in every high and stormy gale
my anchor holds within the veil.

His oath, his covenant, his blood
support me in the whelming flood;
when every earthly prop gives way,
he then is all my hope and stay.

When he shall come with trumpet sound,
oh, may I then in him be found,
dressed in his righteousness alone,
faultless to stand before the throne.

On Christ the solid rock I stand; all other ground is sinking sand.

All other ground is sinking sand.

life after

Transition is dumb. I hate it. And yes, 'dumb' is the exact correct word to reflect the emotion that transition brings over me: a childish resentment of something I dislike. The adult Megan embraces transition for the 'bloomabilities' it offers. But the childish side of Megan resents the disruption of the comfortableness and happiness she has finally established in her world. Er, I mean, my world.

Transition makes me feel like that though: like I have to withdraw outside of myself and manipulate myself, manipulate Megan, like a puppeteer to morph her to the situation.

Transition is sticky and messy and involves a lot of social ceremonies and repetitive conversations and weakness.

Transition seems to throw away what you've built and it won't even let you just rebuild, it demands that you construct something creative and new.

To sum it up, it's dumb.

But moving on to the present... what a week. Oh man.

Teen Girls Camp 2010.
Kelley got married. To Russ.
Slumber party of the decade.

It was sweet. Check it out.

Mis chicas bonitas:

Oh-livia:

Becs:


J:


Aimee:


Darion:


Rowdy good times at Teen Girls:











I hardly had time to feel sad when my wonderful girls left, because that evening was the wedding of the year!! My wickedawesome dorm resident director for two years, Kelley, got married to her lucky pastor man, Russ.









And then so many of my favorite girls crowded into Luce's apartment for an epic slumber party. Yes please.

My blessings are pressed down, shaken together, and running over.

ps- This is my 100th blog post! Happy birthday little blog! How much can happen in 100 posts...